I normally wouldn't bother blogging about a quote...or use a quote *as* a blog...but today is different. My inner optimist has given in to my inner pessimist, which has temporarily taken over. So, without further babbling, here's my quote...and those who know, will know.
“I feel sorry for Big, I really do. Because if you think about it, I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Actually, no. I pity him because I get to walk away and be me, and he has to walk away and stay him, you know? And who wants to be him when you could be me? I mean, I'm smart, I'm funny... I was this, this thing, you know I was it. I was this magic moment. I was the abracadabra. I was totally the "poof" in the relationship. I mean, I've got more "poof" in one finger than he could ever have. I mean, geez, sometimes I "poof" just hailing a cab. So I guess it's better to know now. So I can go "poof" someone else. Someone who deserves me, and not some screwed-up, insecure guy who can't deal with a woman who's got her act together. Now, I'm gonna end up deliriously happy and Big is gonna die old and alone, and I pity him. Really, I pity him.” - Carrie Bradshaw
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Welcome to the jungle
"I'm possibly one bad date away from bitter." - Carrie Bradshaw
That quote just about sums up my feelings perfectly after a bout of...well, of trying too hard. Or at least feeling like I have to try too hard to meet a guy! There's been online dating...introductions...fix-ups...and everything has left me sensing that I'm trying to force the hand of something that should just happen organically, naturally...and in its own time.
Overall, my life is great. I have amazing friends, a loving (and slightly crazy) family, a good job and an apartment I love. Even my roommates rock! So, I decided over the weekend it's time to just relax and get comfortable with who I am. Around this time last year, thanks to a phenomenal therapist and a LOT of hard work, I'd reached a major turning point where I felt really good about being single. I was confident, genuinely happy and had no doubt that I'd find *my* guy when the time was right. (Because life is all about the timing, isn't it?) I was even - finally - okay with my weight and embraced my curvy figure...something I have struggled with my entire life!
Fast-forward to the now; the curves have diminished along with my healthy sense of self. I got a little lost somewhere along the way...a little too wrapped up in wanting to make someone else happy that I couldn't satisfy no matter how hard I tried. Now, I'm starting back towards the path I veered away from and taking it one day at a time. I'm getting closer, feeling like B again and ready to see where life leads me. I think I need to try hard at only one thing right now; loving who I am. Everything else will work itself out.
That quote just about sums up my feelings perfectly after a bout of...well, of trying too hard. Or at least feeling like I have to try too hard to meet a guy! There's been online dating...introductions...fix-ups...and everything has left me sensing that I'm trying to force the hand of something that should just happen organically, naturally...and in its own time.
Overall, my life is great. I have amazing friends, a loving (and slightly crazy) family, a good job and an apartment I love. Even my roommates rock! So, I decided over the weekend it's time to just relax and get comfortable with who I am. Around this time last year, thanks to a phenomenal therapist and a LOT of hard work, I'd reached a major turning point where I felt really good about being single. I was confident, genuinely happy and had no doubt that I'd find *my* guy when the time was right. (Because life is all about the timing, isn't it?) I was even - finally - okay with my weight and embraced my curvy figure...something I have struggled with my entire life!
Fast-forward to the now; the curves have diminished along with my healthy sense of self. I got a little lost somewhere along the way...a little too wrapped up in wanting to make someone else happy that I couldn't satisfy no matter how hard I tried. Now, I'm starting back towards the path I veered away from and taking it one day at a time. I'm getting closer, feeling like B again and ready to see where life leads me. I think I need to try hard at only one thing right now; loving who I am. Everything else will work itself out.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Dipping my toe in the water...
I had a date last night. Now, before you go and get all excited, please understand it was a guy I met online. Ok Cupid to be exact. It's a free dating site. You do the math!
Anyway, I met Ok Cupid Guy (we'll call him OCG) after exchanging a week's worth of brief emails. As I walked into the bar last night, I only knew a few important things about OCG: he's a teacher, he lives on the Cape, he has curly hair. I didn't even know his last name! But whatever. Last names are too personal anyway. I like to keep things loose.
I spotted OCG almost as soon as I walked in because he looked just like his pictures...sort of. I'm thinking the most recent photo he posted online was taken at least 3 years ago, but no matter. This girl is a trooper! I sat down, we made the manditory small talk and then...and then I started working my ass off. You see, I tend to have a rather big personality and OCG had a very small one. That, my friends, does not make for lively conversation. I asked a lot of questions. He answered. I asked more questions. He sipped his Sam Adams and answered. OCG was nice...educated...enjoyed teaching...and that was about it. I talked, gestured, tried my hardest to liven things up but it wasn't happening. The most exciting thing that happened all evening was getting to see a video he made on his phone of his parents' dog. Seriously. It gave me something to "ooh" and "aah" over!
I ended our "date" about 90 mintues after it started. My beer glass was empty and so was I; there was no more small talk to be made, no more questions to be asked. I was officially finished working for the night. I could say that I'm disheartened, but that would be a lie. OCG may not have been *my* right guy, but he will be the perfect match for someone else. Now, I'm back to finding the guy who's right for B-Tripp. The one with a personality that compliments mine. The one I can talk and laugh and bullshit with and it never feels like work. He's out there...maybe here, maybe far away, maybe right under my nose. All I have to do is believe.
Anyway, I met Ok Cupid Guy (we'll call him OCG) after exchanging a week's worth of brief emails. As I walked into the bar last night, I only knew a few important things about OCG: he's a teacher, he lives on the Cape, he has curly hair. I didn't even know his last name! But whatever. Last names are too personal anyway. I like to keep things loose.
I spotted OCG almost as soon as I walked in because he looked just like his pictures...sort of. I'm thinking the most recent photo he posted online was taken at least 3 years ago, but no matter. This girl is a trooper! I sat down, we made the manditory small talk and then...and then I started working my ass off. You see, I tend to have a rather big personality and OCG had a very small one. That, my friends, does not make for lively conversation. I asked a lot of questions. He answered. I asked more questions. He sipped his Sam Adams and answered. OCG was nice...educated...enjoyed teaching...and that was about it. I talked, gestured, tried my hardest to liven things up but it wasn't happening. The most exciting thing that happened all evening was getting to see a video he made on his phone of his parents' dog. Seriously. It gave me something to "ooh" and "aah" over!
I ended our "date" about 90 mintues after it started. My beer glass was empty and so was I; there was no more small talk to be made, no more questions to be asked. I was officially finished working for the night. I could say that I'm disheartened, but that would be a lie. OCG may not have been *my* right guy, but he will be the perfect match for someone else. Now, I'm back to finding the guy who's right for B-Tripp. The one with a personality that compliments mine. The one I can talk and laugh and bullshit with and it never feels like work. He's out there...maybe here, maybe far away, maybe right under my nose. All I have to do is believe.
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